In continuation of brutally betrayed
My husband was showing remorse. Was sitting with my pain for hours. Was tolerating my anger and violent behaviour. Was taking care of me. Became transparent. Gave me his bank account details. Opened joint account and put his money there. His words sound so promising. Started solo counselling to earn my trust. I was slowly healing. He booked a vacation for us to make the relationship better for this weekend for full week.
I found out 3 days back that he is still talking to the AP. I heard their conversation. She is shouting on him that he shown her so many dreams and he left her like this. He is saying I am still in contact with you. She is crying, he is consoling. She is asking for reassurance and hopes. He says he is uncertain but says he will go and meet her in December. And he is talking so ill about me that I am money minded. That he doesn't care if I leave him. He has given me a free hand clearly to stay or leave. He is done with the turmoil, the rift.
Now I handle all his social media accounts and have changed passwords. And he informed about this to her. She is sending the video call screenshot to messenger showing they are talking for 50 min. My husband says she is instigating me.
When I confronted my husband for the calls, he completely denied. He took false swear on me, my daughter, God. When I said I have proof, he said he was just asking her that why she was sending those instigating things when she knows my wife was seeing them.
She is threatening him on call that if I send this intimate video to your wife, your relationship will be over. My husband had a heated talk with her but still he is talking again and again. He secretly installs a video calling app when he goes to office and then uninstalls it later. He learnt hiding better. He did the same thing when he started betraying me second time in 2022. It feels like he will never leave her. 1 month back, He went to Argentina for 2 weeks and talked to her constantly from there. In the conversation she is asking him to send her a TV and he is saying that he will chose it for her but can't purchase and ship as his wife has all account details now.
At the same time He says, he has come to know the true colors of AP and wants to come out. Says, it was a long relationship so he needs more time to come out of it. Said that you are also taking time to come out of this trauma, same way he is also reducing conversation with her. He brought it to .5% from 100%.
I am shattered again. I am back to zero. He says he is talking because she is threatening him. but that doesn't look like the case.
Please advise me. I wanted to stay genuinely thinking about future and my baby. But looks like, he doesn't deserve us.
Also, please advise me a good audio recorder for his car, which can not be found by him and will cancel the car noise. Also, where to place it.
5 comments posted: Friday, July 31st, 2026
Brutally betrayed
I am posting it again to get more responses. As I am not healing. Continuously crying since 3 months 10 days.
12 years of marriage. We Have a child. Recently found out my husband is cheating on me since 5 years. After 3 years of marriage his mother had moved in with us after her husband's death. There used to be fights because of the politics played by my MIL.My H always took her side. They were emotionally married to each other.I felt like outsider. Slowly he started silent treatments, stone walling and started to be distant. I was still in all love with him. In 2022, I caught him cheating by talking to a lady on phone for hours. I was devastated. He didn't give me any detail. I knew it was more than talking. He promised he will never repeat it. Then we moved to USA from our home country. He promised he will rebuild. But recently found out that he never stopped talking to the AP. He used to go to our home country every 4 months to have honeymoon with her by claiming he is going to meet his mom. The AP is a massage lady who used to work in spa and he had went for massage in 2022 when I was in my maternal place for few months. She is a divorcee with 2 twenty years old kids. He gave her a huge amount of money. Set up her own spa business. Sponsoring AP's daughter's higher studies, took a loan for a house she wanted to purchase and claiming that she would have paid the EMIs. Whileas he gave a huge down payment for this too.
This is a 2nd time betrayal. He was very cruel to me these few years. 5 years affair. So many big things he did for AP. He says, his AP used to live with her boyfriend and he used to beat her. So my H wanted to help her. They started talking and he got involved with her out of pity. I was in my maternal home for 4 months. He had full honeymoon with her for those months in my home which we had build together. He used the same bed we used to sleep on. He had given her the key of my house. When he was in USA, she used to come frequently to my house in my home country and my H used to send food for her. Whenever he went to home country, he stayed with her in my house. I discovered these things now.
When I caught him, he is remorseful and want his family back. Want to be a better person and love me the way I want. He is a small narcissist and excessive avoidant. He says he was poisoned for me by his mother and we didn't solve the issues and he had resentment baggage. His ego kept him talking to me about our marital issues. He wanted to help the lady to pull her out of her problems and poverty and strayed.
Please suggest me.
I am not healing. I am crying and confronting him continuously since 3 months 10 days. When he went on a business trip, I felt at peace but now when he is back, the same cycle is repeating. I am in immense pain. Not able to understand what to do to come out of it. It feels like a separation for sometime will help but I feel guilty about asking him to move out and I start missing him and my daughter's full responsibility falls on me and I am not in a position to care her mentally and physically.
How long it will take to heal? How this pain will stop?
I know I can't leave this marriage but I can't think about reconciliation after such a brutal betrayal. My heart is not accepting it. I cant accept how a person can be so cruel to their spouse. I would have never done this.
Recently I found their intimate pictures and I am so broken after that.
11 comments posted: Sunday, July 12th, 2026
Betrayed by husband
12 years of marriage. We Have a child. Recently found out my husband is cheating on me since 5 years. After 3 years of marriage his mother had moved in with us after her husband's death. There used to be fights because of the politics played by my MIL.My H always took her side. They were emotionally married to each other.I felt like outsider. Slowly he started silent treatments, stone walling and started to be distant. I was still in all love with him. In 2022, I caught him cheating by talking to a lady on phone for hours. I was devastated. He didn't give me any detail. I knew it was more than talking. He promised he will never repeat it. Then we moved to USA from our home country. He promised he will rebuild. But recently found out that he never stopped talking to the AP. He used to go to our home country every 4 months to have honeymoon with her by claiming he is going to meet his mom. The AP is a massage lady who used to work in spa and he had went for massage in 2022 when I was in my maternal place for few months. She is a divorcee with 2 twenty years old kids. He gave her a huge amount of money. Set up her own spa business. Sponsoring AP's daughter's higher studies, took a loan for a house she wanted to purchase and claiming that she would have paid the EMIs. Whileas he gave a huge down payment for this too.
This is a 2nd time betrayal. He was very cruel to me these few years. 5 years affair. So many big things he did for AP.
When I caught him, he is remorseful and want his family back. Want to be a better person and love me the way I want. He is a small narcissist and excessive avoidant. He says he was poisoned for me by his mother and we didn't solve the issues and he had resentment baggage. His ego kept him talking to me about our marital issues. He wanted to help the lady to pull her out of her problems and poverty and strayed.
Please suggest me. I am not able to figure out whether to stay or leave. I am devastated.
Please give me long replies. Badly needing it.
18 comments posted: Wednesday, June 3rd, 2026
