In Laws

What does your relationship with your in laws look like after the affair? We have never been super close to my in laws, but before dd our relationship consisted mostly of me sending pictures and updates of the kids. They have never called the kids or made a huge effort to visit, we would mainly visit them. After dd I completely stopped reaching out for a while as I was in complete survival mode. They knew about the affair and told my husband and I that I needed to move forward. They made a lot of comments to my husband and me about how they missed the pictures. I started to send pictures of the kids again, although it is definitely less frequent. They still rarely initiate contact but always say how they miss hearing from me, or wish I would reach out more. I think the affair changed the way I am and all of my relationships in life. I will never put more effort into someone than I’m getting back.

2 comments posted: Saturday, August 8th, 2026

The AP

How did you all handle the AP after you found out? I found out the messages and called her a f*ck*ng wh*r* and when she sent me an "apology" (more like trying to save her pathetic *ss) I told her to never contact me again. She begged me not to tell her husband…I did. Sometimes I wish I had sent her a message letting her know how much hurt and damage she caused to not only me, but my children too. Most of the time I think she’s not worth it. It’s been two years now so probably too late but I’m just wondering if any of you have reached out and regret it or think it’s better to say nothing. I know my husband never reached out again and cut her off on everything.

12 comments posted: Wednesday, August 5th, 2026

How long?

How long did it take you to feel really confident in your decision to stay? I am 20 months post d-day and still questioning if I made the right decision. I still have so many triggers. I think one of the biggest setbacks for me is that he treated me horribly before and during the affair. He knew how much he was hurting me by how he was treating me and chose to do it anyway. He has done a COMPLETE 180 since d-day, but I still have so much anger and resentment.

10 comments posted: Wednesday, June 3rd, 2026

Still Struggling

I am a year and a half post D-day and still struggling so much some days. My husband has completely changed and become so much better which has helped so much, but I still can’t get over the betrayal. I know I will never "get over" it but I find myself spiraling a lot still. He has told me they both never wanted to leave their spouses and it was just a "fantasy." But he has also told me they did say if circumstances were different what if they were together kind of things. He says it was never real for him, but I just can’t stop thinking about it.

17 comments posted: Monday, February 23rd, 2026

In laws

Curious how you would handle a situation where your in laws told you to come to a resolution one year after finding out about your spouse’s affair so things can go back to normal for them. We have never been super close, and obviously the affair recovery caused more strain, but my spouse and I are trying to work through it and have still included them in activities with our children through the past year.

31 comments posted: Saturday, November 8th, 2025