Just a vent needed
Hi all im new and just need to vent.
In June my husband had an emotional affair and sexting with a work colleague, someone who i had warned him about as she is all over the men at work and works night out socials, and her behaviour just made me uncomfortable. Before june, she had started messaging him separately to the work group chat, which I brought up i didn't like and he got defensive, I got the usual speel like "i cant have any female friends, shes just a friend" crap..... Long story short turns out my intuition was spot on and ultimately i found out they had been sexting and emotionally offloading to each other about us, personal things, her to him about her husband who was treating her badly who she had seperated from, then it led to intimate photos being exchanged.. He had lied and hid this from me, went to great lengths to lock her convo on whatsapp, gaslit me and was awful towards me whilst this went on. It all came out by me seeing things on his phone. I was and have been absolutely heartbroken by it all and his behaviour. During all this we have been going through the worst time imaginable with our daughter (14)and her mental health this year. Its truly been awful shes been so poorly💔.Despite all this, ive always been the loyal loving wife, Ive still given him attention, sex etc and ive stood up for things hes been doing which are wrong and know what boundaries are .
So fast forward to now- im still anxious and its taken me weeks to feel better. Ill never forgive or forget but really tried to reconcile. We have had some nice days out and time together. And really trying to rebuild. But theres some big "buts..."
when it all came out I was going to end it all, but I love him and after a lot of tears, us spending some time apart and low points i decided to try and work on it..... when we talked I set ground rules and made him cut her off completely and block her on everything, and made him send her a pm saying I know. He showed me he had done all this and we started to try to move on from it slowly.
The "buts" - there's just something bugging me with the whole thing. And the fact she's still at his place of work. I know your probably going to say he should leave or have left but its a very well paid job, we are struggling and he has lovely work colleagues bar her - its just difficult. He made that choice to get inappropriately involved with her and is now paying the price for it with me clamping down. He's even moaned about work socials now, as I've rightly said I dont want him on any if shes there - he says he won't be able to go to any then as she's at all of them (of course she is she loves attention!) It makes me angry he has caused this situation. It's his fault hes been put in this situation!!!
What really bugs me is she is in a WhatsApp work related group chat with him , still sees him now and then at work which I hate. He has promised he has nothing to do with her if he sees her. He has her blocked on WhatsApp and all social media - but this work related group work chat she still tries to interact with him despite him blocking her. WhatsApp does not block the contact on mutual groups. Im worried they are still chatting. its clear that she still likes him misses chatting to him or trying to interact. Either that or she's just feeling awkward over what's gone on. My husband is very social bubbly and charming and she is likely missing him, either that or they've just took it more underground and still chatting. Which im really anxious about. There's been no proof of this so far but I have seen that she's trying her best to interact with him in the work related chat. I dont understand why she won't leave him alone - as far as hes told me hes cut her off but she's not acting like it or what I suspected she would like a woman scorned.shes that kind of woman. Something isn't adding up.
Im just worried theres been more to it all.I just feel so down with it all and still so upset he did this when we are going through such an upsetting time with our daughter.💔 if things carry on or i find anything else im going to have to be more firm and ask him to leave his job. Im beginning to wish I had back in June. X
18 comments posted: Friday, December 12th, 2025
