I already mentioned last post that she admitted to chatting with men. She denied the seriousness of it, downplayed everything, said she had deleted it all and stopped, and even agreed to an emergency psych appointment. She got a new prescription but never filled it.
The very next night I hacked into her catfishing Instagram and saw the truth. She hadn’t deleted anything. She was still actively flirting with men right up to that moment — doctored photos, fake personas, outrageous lies, a dozen guys at once. She was keeping them like little sexual pets. I screenshotted everything and sent it to her therapist and her dad. I also warned the men directly. Some apologized and shared details that were hard to hear. Others pushed back because she had convinced them I was a stalker or "crazy ex."
She flipped out, grabbed every device in the house, and drove around the neighborhood for hours with my daughter’s phone and the laptops, trying to get back online. When I tried to approach her car she nearly ran me over. Around 3 AM I called the cops because she was circling and parking in random spots, clearly manic. They found her, but she told them we were in an "open relationship" and that I was jealous of her new boyfriend. Since she wasn’t suicidal, I couldn’t have her committed. They told her to get a hotel, but she refused to leave.
The next morning I told her I was done. I told her I can’t live with her, that I can’t trust her, and that she isn’t OK. I told her I expect to take full custody of the kids — not to take them from her, but because I need to protect them and they need stability. She sobbed all morning about losing her babies. Around noon I forced her to finally fill her prescription. I handled the kids’ activities myself.
I also made the hard call to change my work travel next week. I’m driving the kids halfway across the country to stay with my mom during my trip because I can’t leave them with her like this.
Today she showed her true colors again and embarrassed me at work. I rarely go in on Fridays, but I had to pick up supplies. I walked in and found her on her phone, clearly on Instagram making another account. She tried to hide it. I went to my office, and her boss noticed I was upset. I broke down in tears loading a cart. My wife came rushing in, spinning another story. I loudly told her to leave and be responsible. She left, sobbing at her desk while her boss comforted her.
Not long after, she sent me a flood of hysterical voice recordings with more fantastical explanations. She can’t give me her phone or time-stamped screenshots, but she can spin endless stories.
This evening my eldest daughter asked me why I can’t stay with her mom. "If she’s sick, why can’t we just fix her medicine and go back to normal? She keeps saying she didn’t do it — so maybe she didn’t?"
I may have made a mistake, but I showed her a curated selection of screenshots — conversations and revealing but not nude photos. She asked, "Did she stop?" I told her the truth: I caught her doing it again today at work. Then she asked, "Why isn’t the medicine working?"
My wife overheard the last bit of that conversation and flipped out. She called me a liar and told my daughter I was lying. She accused me of trying to get revenge and make them hate me. She really tore into me. My daughter had a panic attack and started crying and asked both of us to stop fighting in front of her. I hate this so much.
I feel sick from all of this. The good news is that I don’t think there’s going to be much more fighting. I’m already broken and I know everything that I need to know to never trust her again.
She’s begging me to have mercy and saying it takes a few days for dosage changes to take effect. I don’t care anymore. If lying and cheating and hurting me and the kids is a symptom, we don’t have to live with her symptoms. It might be cruel because I know the real her is in there somehere deep down, but staying with her is cruel to myself and my children.
I need to simply start walking in the right direction and stay persistent. I know I can’t divorce her legally right away unless she really messes up and harms herself or one of the kids.
It might take a year or more before I can get out of this, but I’m leaving and I’m taking control of the kids.
If she gets herself together and proves to me she’s taking medication, going to therapy, and not living in a dangerous environment she can share the kids without the kids, but I need to be able to police the situation.
I don’t want revenge. I want her to get better because I know she loves the kids and I know the kids love and need their mom. The problem is… mommy isn’t acting like a good person.
